Naomi Gayle Rivkis (pocketnaomi) wrote,
Naomi Gayle Rivkis

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Information, please?

I'm trying to sort out who's speaking to me.

I'm not trying to press anyone who doesn't want to be anymore. I'm aware that, in the long-term fallout from a particularly nasty and violent breakup, there's going to be people who don't want anything to do with me, just as there will be people who don't want anything to do with my ex. I have tried to make clear to my friends that I don't particularly want them to dump her; I have no idea what she's done, if anything, on the same subject, but it's not my business, and I'm not trying to find out. I am trying to find out who within the local (West Coast or so) filk/fandom community is still willing to be my friend, or at least be on reasonably amicable social terms with me, and who isn't. [Added: If you're not local but have any reason to think I don't know this about you, please feel free to comment as well.]

There are a very few people whom I know the answer about because they've made it extremely clear, but short of attempting to slap me or something, I'm trying hard not to fall into the trap of trying to "read signals," because I don't trust myself not to get it wrong. So I'm setting this public, and I'm allowing all comments but screening them. [It will be re-set private after a period of time, because for professional reasons, I can't have much personal information available outside a friendslock over the long term, but I'll leave it open for quite a while first.] Anyone who wants to use the opportunity to tell me your preferences, I will welcome the information from you. If you do want to be friendly with me, I'm glad of it. If you don't (either because of the situation with my ex or for any other reason), I'll leave you to walk away with no rancor, and I promise to do my best to stay out of your way and not bother you in future. I'd just really like to know how you'd like me to treat you; I don't like to pester people who don't like me, and while I will be sorry to lose anyone who chooses not to be friendly, I'd rather at least know that, by staying away from you, I'm treating you the way you want me to treat you.

If you don't yet know me from Adam's off ox, but you have nothing therefore against me and wouldn't mind making my acquaintance, I'd be happy to get comments to that effect, also. New friends are always welcome!

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