January 13th, 2012

chamois

Just what purpose is this serving?

My ex, cflute, posted publicly recently that she was "surprised" by a couple of offers I had made, including one she called "extremely generous." I'll respond by a request for a simple piece of return... not generosity, I wouldn't expect that, but responsibility.

Today, for the third time in six weeks, I showed up on time in the morning for a court date to discuss an Order of Protection. I think I need it and she doesn't, but that isn't the issue. The issue is that, for the third time, she failed to appear, despite knowing exactly when and where it was, despite being informed explicitly that the documents related to the case were at the courthouse, despite police coming to her door repeatedly to try to serve her with those papers.

Once again, without any proof that she's been successfully served, they extended the temporary Order of Protection another two weeks and reset the court date for yet another time. I'll be there... I'm sure she believes that if she can avoid the cops long enough, I'll get so exhausted that I just won't show up myself, and it'll be dismissed. She can get away with avoiding it, see; I can't. It won't work, though. I'm there to protect my children, and I'll go if I have to be wheeled in on a hospital cart. And I have friends who will bring me.

So why draw this torture out? Open the goddamn door when the police come calling and take the papers. If they don't come when you're home, call the court and ask for the papers, then show up on the date the next hearing is scheduled (which by the way is Thursday, January 26th, one day short of two weeks from now, at the Shoreline courthouse at 180th street and Meridian, at 8:45 in the morning). If you don't think I should be granted the order, stand up in court and speak your piece, or ask your lawyer to do it for you. A trained attorney going up against one single mother with no formal legal training shouldn't be scared to show his face.

But don't keep ducking and running. That's dishonest and shameful. It may succeed in hurting me -- despite current protestations, we know how far you will go to achieve that end -- but it won't take down the OP, which lasts in its temporary form for as long as I'm prepared to keep going back there. Which means until hell freezes over. Or until you have the guts to stand up and tell a court why they shouldn't grant it.
  • Current Mood
    angry livid
chamois

While I'm at it....

I don't usually respond to things my ex posts, but as long as I have the post up, since there is a direct question involved, I'll make an exception.

I understand that legal boilerplate has to exist, and that there are tragic situations where a former intimate partner gets injured or killed by a vengeful ex. ***But that isn't me***.

That's what you said about ever, ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, using your hands in anger. If it wasn't true then, there is zero reason why it should be true in this case. You don't know that that isn't you. You want it to be true, but you don't know, you can't know. All you can know is that the gouge marks in my face, shown in the photographs you saw, could only have been made by a surface pressed hard against my face, so hard that my glasses cut their way deep into the skin.

I believe you don't mean me any harm right now, cflute, I just also know, because you taught me, that what you mean when you're sane and what you are capable of controlling yourself enough to prevent when you're in a rage bear very little relation to one another.

I am willing to keep my distance - but why does it have to be 500 feet, instead of 50, or 20?

Because your father kept guns and there's no reason to suppose that you can't use one well enough to hit at 50 feet. 'Nuff said.
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off
chamois

A chilling reminder

A newspaper article riveted my attention this morning... about the sentencing of a Texas woman who murdered her young son by suffocation. In it, the remorseful mother said, "I am very sorry to have caused the intense pain and suffering to my precious son Camden. He did nothing whatsoever to deserve that by my hand... My sorrow is intense and unbearable."

And I realized, with chills running down my back, that I'd heard that kind of language before.

From a post in cflute's journal, public for awhile before she closed it on the advice of counsel: "I'm so, so sorry. Sorry for the physical pain. Sorry for the emotional pain. Sorry for the terror. Sorry for the betrayal of trust. Sorry for failing her - and myself. Though I could cry oceans it won't change anything, and that's what breaks my heart again.... I don't deserve her forgiveness, but she does deserve my contrition, slow though it has been in surfacing. I feel like I've had a limb amputated..."

Did she really mean to murder me? I don't think anyone, including herself, will ever know. She can't voluntarily recreate the state in which she was functioning at the time, and can't understand, from outside of that state, the choices she made while within it. What I do know is that I had probably less than a minute before I lost consciousness, less than four minutes before it stopped being a matter of anyone's choice. Before she could no more bring me back than Camden's mother could resurrect her son, after she'd changed her mind about murdering him.

I don't like to think about how narrow an escape I had. But cflute won't, so somebody has to. If I had any brief doubts about the 500-foot rule, or the OP; if I'd wanted to have doubts (and I did; it makes things easier when trying to deal with friends who want to remain impartial between assailant and victim), this is why I can't sustain them.

Because suffocation is a terrible death -- and I've experienced enough of the process to know. Because I don't want myself or my children to be the next Camden. Because none of her tears after the fact will matter, if we are.
  • Current Mood
    scared sobered